3AMFRIGHT.COM: The Better To Eat You With

The Better To Eat You With

So it's exactly ten days till Christmas and you are still unsure what that horror loving family member of yours wants. I know. We're not easy to please and finding good deals on great material is sometimes impossible. Sometimes. Last week I received not one but two more wonderful care packages from Don at tshirtbordello.com that has loaded me up with awesome items for the holiday season. You're going to love these!

With the heart breaking news that the ever present Jaws ride at Universal Studios in Florida would be removed to make way for something new, this shirt reminds everyone that the terror a great white brought to our screens will not be forgotten. This shirt could easily have been seen hanging in Quint's little shop or in a tourist store on Amity Island and brings with it more than nostalgia.

Captain Quints along with a ragtag crew and water shy Sheriff brought peace to an otherwise terrorized island by a massive man eating shark that deliberately swam along the shores of Amity for victims to devour. Though the boat was destroyed and the shark got more than a few nips in, Captain Quint and crew prevailed in the end. I'm thinking if he had known what he was going to encounter he would have been wearing this shirt to taunt the angry beast. I know I sure would have.

And if Quint had hindsight, he also would have brought along something to keep his keys on. Just in case he happened to drop them, or worse, the shark got a good bite in. This simple small but squishy floating key chain would make sure that even if Quint himself would not survive, his keys would; floating off along the waves to later be discovered say by tourists boating and drinking. I'm sure they would have picked them up and exclaimed aloud 'Shit man, I should get one of these to put my keys on!' or at the very least tossed them into their boat to ponder about later when they are sober.

Now if sharks aren't your thing or if you're just not terrified of the big deep then how about zombies and beer? Who doesn't love them? Separately or together, zombies and beer are as much a staple of the Horror genera as blood and virgins are.

     Coffin Nail Pale Ale , doesn't that just sound like an awesome drink? It obviously makes a kick ass t-shirt. What with the zombie drinking happily and the brilliant gold and red coffin style design....yeah I'm no doubt a big fan of this shirt. Hell, if they made a root beer by the same name I'd be buying it in bulk.

     There is nothing, as an artist, that I love more than clever creative designs and this shirt is definitely high up on my list. Clearly other Horror fans would agree that this would be a perfect gift for any season, Christmas included. Who doesn't want a little zombie love in their stocking?

     And if zombies are likely to be crawling around your Christmas tree looking for something to eat, so too would be the next two shirts. Filled with the need to feast, these monsters don't come with sharp teeth or scary sagging rotting flesh. They just have an appetite for human flesh.

Drayton Sawyer knows what good meat is and he also knows how to make a mean chili. If there is one thing his family loves more than eating, it's hunting down road tripping teenagers. An unforgettable character from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Sawyer and Sheriff Hoyt (from a previous post) are a must treat for any Horror fan. I love the slightly comic styling of this shirt, almost reminds me of the cartoon work from the first Creepshow and that is always a plus in my book. Like Sawyer himself says 'The secret's in the meat' and so too is it in this design.

And no feast would be complete without the master Chef himself, Hannibal , from Silence of the Lambs to serve the main course. Don told me that this happens to be one of his favorite shirts and I have to agree. I will be wearing this shirt on Christmas eve at my parents house, I can promise you that. The beautiful portrait work and two toned color design is just impossible to resist, just like Hannibal himself. Smart and sharp, this shirt is a must have as far as I'm concerned in every Horror fans closet. He even says it himself, 'You are what you eat' and this shirt is Horror and must be apart of your collection as it sure is a part of mine.

So if you are still looking to finish up your holiday shopping and you need to find that perfect little treat for either yourself or someone else, be sure to check these shirts and key chain out at tshirtbordello.com . I know I'm happy to have these resting under my Charlie Brown tree and I have no doubt you and your loved ones will feel the same way.

So until next time,

sit back, relax

and don't forget to scream!